When another friend of mine announced that she had decided to live with her boyfriend without legalizing the relationship, I thought, but now more and more couples do not want to officially register their family and live in a civil union for many years, citing the fact that many of those who hurried in the registry office, a year later they get divorced. Of course, both options have a right to exist. But I wanted to figure out why some choose official and others choose civil marriage.
Positive and negative aspects of cohabitation
For clarity, below are tables for determining the pros and cons of civil marriage.
For men.
| № | pros | Minuses |
| 1 | Lack of obligations: if life together with a woman does not work out, then breaking up will be much easier. | Lack of freedom in personal relationships: civil marriage imposes some personal obligations on the couple. In addition, not every representative of the fair sex will want to start a relationship with a man living with a woman. |
| 2 | Family comfort: a man receives care, he is loved, he is expected. | Due to the refusal to officially register a marriage, a man may have conflicts with the mother of his common-law wife. In such situations, parents are convinced that their daughters are unfairly offended. |
| 3 | Some of the everyday problems are shifted to the common-law wife. | Spending time with friends and colleagues is limited. A man should devote time and attention to his common-law wife. |
| 4 | No financial costs for the wedding ceremony. | Increased control on the part of the cohabitant. Refusal to officially marry can provoke excessive suspicion on the part of the woman, which can affect the emotional state of the couple and reduce personal time. |
| 5 | In the event of separation, the common-law wife will not be able to present any legal claims to the cohabitant. | |
| 6 | Checking everyday life: during the course of cohabitation, a couple’s feelings may dry up, since everyday life changes a lot in a relationship. |
From the above information it is clear that for men the civil form of family relationships has more advantages than disadvantages. But in some cases, one minus can greatly affect the life of a couple and become more significant than all the pluses.
For women.
| № | Advantages | Flaws |
| 1 | Test of time: during the period of cohabitation, a woman will determine whether she should tie the knot with her common-law husband. If, after difficulties arise, it is not possible to establish relationships, then you can separate without wasting time and nerves on the divorce process. | Lack of certainty. A woman cannot be sure of an imminent wedding. A proposal to live together does not mean that marriage will be registered soon. The partner only agrees to cohabitation. |
| 2 | Distribution of household duties. Most women cannot fix an outlet, a switch, or hang a shelf. A man copes with such tasks much faster and more successfully. | From the point of view of legislation, conscientious cohabitation of a man and a woman does not seem to be legally significant. They are not husband and wife with all the ensuing rights, even if there is agreement in the family. |
| 3 | If a common-law wife earns good money, then the absence of a stamp in her passport will protect her from a man’s encroachment on her property. | In the absence of an officially registered marriage relationship, a woman may remain a single mother. Irresponsible men, having learned about the interesting situation of their partner, refuse to continue living together and leave the family. To receive alimony, a woman will have to spend significantly more time and money, since she will have to prove paternity. Although often, after pregnancy, the couple goes to the registry office to officially register the relationship. |
| 4 | Having a family. Although the relationship is not registered, the woman does not feel lonely; she receives attention from her common-law husband. Although the opposite situation is also possible. | The absence of a father will affect the child's life. Often children raised by mothers have an insufficient understanding of family relationships, which can lead to conflicts after marriage. |
| 5 | From a religious point of view, cohabitation without registering the relationship is fornication. |
As can be seen from the table, civil marriage is less beneficial for a woman than for a man. The most important disadvantages are the lack of legal protection for the common-law wife and child. In case of separation, it will be much more difficult to protect your interests.
A long bouquet and candy period can be identified as a positive moment for both partners. Due to the relative freedom in a civil marriage, a man and a woman, in order to preserve the family and keep attention on themselves, have to constantly keep themselves in shape, surprise their partner with pleasant surprises, gifts and other actions that bring the couple closer together.
Official and civil marriage: pros and cons from a legal point of view
In addition, the husband and wife are each other's first heirs.
An exception may be a will, which states that the heir is another person. In this case, the wife or husband cannot claim the spouse’s inheritance. An equally important advantage of an official marriage is that spouses in such a union, having queued for an apartment, have a greater chance of getting their own housing much faster. The disadvantages of official marriage include the following.
Many people believe that civil marriage has no advantages. However, having experienced the informal form of relationships between a man and a woman, a huge number of couples could argue with this.
Difficulties of a socio-economic nature
In addition to the expensive and lengthy process of collecting child support, in the event of separation, cohabitation has the following disadvantages (for each of the partners):
- Lack of inheritance rights in the event of the death of a partner. Even if a couple has taken out a mortgage loan or other loan and the debt is repaid jointly, it will not be possible to inherit a home or other property. In accordance with current legislation, the common-law spouse is in the 4th line of inheritance, after the children, parents, and siblings of the deceased.
- A common-law spouse will not be able to obtain a visa to accompany their partner for medical treatment abroad. Also, in Russian health care institutions, meetings may be denied if one of the common-law spouses is hospitalized.
- Some time after living together, one of the spouses begins to lay claim to part of the living space owned by the other spouse. If the residence was legally registered (the partner is registered in the apartment), then division can be achieved.
Pros and cons of official marriage: the legal side of the issue
The division can be carried out by agreement of the parties or through a judicial authority.
If the death of one of the spouses occurs, then, in the absence of a will, the second, along with the parents and children, will be the heir of the first priority.
- Survivor pension benefits
Upon the death of a citizen, his spouse (as well as children and other dependent persons) has the right to demand the assignment of pension payments for the loss of a breadwinner.
A person who is not a spouse or relative (including if cohabitation with the deceased continued for a long period of time) will not be able to receive such payments, even if other requirements are met.
Problems with the division of joint property
During long-term residence, common-law spouses acquire jointly acquired property. It may consist of pieces of furniture, household appliances, and more significant objects, such as:
- living space (apartment, house);
- automobile;
- land plot;
- bank accounts and so on.
In this case, the legislation is on the side of the partner in whose name the property is registered. That is, the second spouse, who is not included in the certificate of ownership, will not be able to claim division of joint property.
If a couple lives without officially registering their relationship, then expensive property, if possible, should be registered as shared ownership to avoid conflicts in the future. This recommendation especially applies to families where property is purchased frequently.
But in some cases, one of the partners manages to achieve the division of jointly acquired property in court. To do this, you must correctly draw up your claim. It is recommended to include the following information:
- the fact of living together and running a household must be described in detail;
- in the claim it is necessary to indicate the property that the plaintiff wants to divide and considers joint;
- a list of documentation confirming the fact of joint acquisition and citizens who can confirm this should be provided.
Actual marriage
The relationship does not have legal force, which can complicate processes such as, for example, the division of jointly acquired property or the adoption of a child. Cohabitants have no statutory obligations to each other. If the Family Code regulates official marriage, the Civil Code regulates residence without a stamp in the passport.
And this fact also makes certain adjustments, since relations between relatives and people who are not related to each other are regulated differently.
An official marriage is a union registered with the registry office. An unregistered union (cohabitation) is called a de facto marriage. This article will discuss the pros and cons of official or legal marriage.
The appearance of children in common-law spouses
If a child is born into a family that is not officially registered, this can cause a number of problems. Paternity can be formalized only if the father voluntarily recognizes the baby as his. If this does not happen, the child will not be able to:
- to be an heir if his name is not indicated in the will;
- apply for alimony payments;
- take your father's last name and so on.
In addition, a teenager may experience psychological difficulties due to his illegitimate status. Growing up in a family that is not officially registered, a child may convince himself that his parents will separate at any moment. The child loses a sense of stability and security, which can cause certain psychological problems.
As the child grows up, he will transfer the behavior model of his parents to his family, which can lead to certain difficulties with his spouse.
Declining birth rate
In the minds of most people in our country, the creation of an official marriage union is associated with the birth of children. In the case of a civil marriage, partners often set out to live a life without obligations, for their own pleasure.
This decision leads to certain results:
- women, fearing to lose their partner due to pregnancy, decide to terminate it;
- if a woman has had several abortions during her cohabitation, this may cause infertility;
- Some couples purposefully do not have children, thereby focusing only on themselves, their careers and avoiding possible difficulties.
All these factors together significantly reduce the birth rate in the country. The situation is further aggravated by the fact that the choice in favor of civil marriage is made by representatives of the generation of the 90s of the last century. During that period, the country experienced a sharp decline in the birth rate, and now children born during that period have reached childbearing age.
Pros and cons of civil marriage for women and men
Consequently, girls often postpone their wedding themselves. But if we talk about the pros and cons of a civil marriage for a woman, then there will still be more negative ones. If a girl really dreams of a wedding dress, then not having a ring on her finger for a long time becomes a cause of stress.
- lack of feeling of stability, security and confidence in a partner,
- development of self-doubt and an inferiority complex (“all my friends are married, but I’m not,” or “he doesn’t like me enough, that’s why he won’t marry”),
- the inability to realize oneself as a mother, and the years go by and the “biological clock is ticking”,
- fear that the partner is simultaneously looking at another girl.
- pressure from parents and other relatives,
Constant internal tension leads to scandals at the domestic and sexual level.
