Wedding
- Is it possible to get married in church after a divorce?
- Is it necessary to get divorced after a divorce?
- Is it possible to get married without the consent of the husband or wife?
“Therefore, what God has joined together, let no man put asunder,” says the Gospel (Mark 10:9). However, reality is far from God's plan. Divorce, alas, has become commonplace, although in reality it is a huge tragedy.
If you think about the biblical text, the answer to the question “how to debunk a church marriage” is obvious - no way. However, in some Christian churches, divorce, although not encouraged, is allowed. We will tell you in the article what to do after a divorce if the spouses were married.
Debunking after divorce
A wedding is not only a beautiful and solemn procedure, as many perceive it. This ritual has a deep and important meaning. Therefore, it is not in vain that the priest performing this church procedure conducts a conversation with two people who have decided to tie themselves not only with earthly ties, but also with heavenly ones.
The priest explains to them that, having gotten married, they will be united by God himself, and it will no longer be possible to run away according to the established scheme of the registry office. Incompatibility of characters or cold feelings - all this and much more for the church is not a valid reason for divorce. Therefore, before deciding to get married, you need to think carefully and weigh the pros and cons.
A wedding is not only a beautiful and solemn procedure
But, despite everything, breaking up marriages are a very common phenomenon in our society, and the question: is it possible to get married in church after a divorce is heard all the time. Breakups are becoming a familiar and commonplace thing for many. And those who did not limit themselves to the official marriage and also performed the wedding ceremony have to decide how to get married in church after a divorce.
Rules for the second wedding
Can a man get married a second time? What about a woman? After a divorce, life does not end; many acquire new lovers and want to marry their chosen one not only at the state level, but also at the “heavenly” level. The procedure will be possible if you comply with a number of church regulations:
- Before the procedure, the spouse getting married again must undergo repentance or confession.
- For several days, the bride and groom need to fast, which will cleanse their body and free their mind. It will allow you to soberly understand whether they need it or not.
- 12 hours before the event, both spouses must abstain from food and water. If there is an intimate relationship in a couple, then it is better to abstain from it for several days before the sacrament.
- On the day of the wedding itself, a few minutes before it, the bride and groom say several prayers: to the Lord Jesus Christ, the Mother of God and the Guardian Angel, and the Follow-up to Holy Communion.
- For the wedding it is necessary to prepare and hand over to the priest: wedding rings, two icons - Jesus Christ and the Mother of God, a towel and two candles for the ceremony.
What is needed for a church divorce?
There is a certain procedure for applying for a church divorce. It is necessary to approach the priest who performed the wedding ceremony and tell about your intentions to break church family ties. But in life, situations, of course, are different and it is likely that you will not be able to find the exact priest who married you.
This is not a barrier, and you can contact any priest you see fit. He will tell you in detail whether it is possible to get married in church, given your current situation.
It is necessary to approach the priest who performed the wedding ceremony
The priest will conduct a conversation, find out all the circumstances of the situation that has arisen, explain to you all the consequences arising from your action, and tell you how to get divorced after a divorce and what is needed for this. Then it will be necessary to draw up a written appeal addressed to the bishop of the diocese. In it you will have to write:
- When and where did you get married?
- The history of your marital relationship.
- The reason for the breakdown of the marriage.
The priest will conduct a conversation, finding out all the circumstances of the situation.
In addition, you must attach the necessary package of documents to your written application. You should convey your appeal to the diocese to the priest to whom you initially addressed, and he, in turn, will convey this statement to the bishop, attaching a report to it in which he will express his personal attitude to what is happening, based on your conversation with him.
In what cases can you ask the church to debunk?
The Orthodox Church has an extremely negative attitude towards divorce, believing that the severance of family relationships harms both spouses and their children. And if in our turbulent times the clergy met the parishioners halfway and began, if there were truly good reasons, to carry out dethronements, then in past centuries even representatives of the royal family could not get a divorce after a wedding. The Church did not recognize the dissolution of marriage, uniting people in a union once and for all. For the first time, a list of reasons giving Orthodox parishioners the opportunity to obtain a divorce from the church was compiled in 1918. Over time, this list has been expanded somewhat. Today, the following may serve as grounds for church divorce:
- betrayal by either party;
- unnatural vices;
- the entry of an unmarried spouse into a new marriage;
- rejection of Orthodoxy;
- absence of husband or wife for more than three years;
- failure of either spouse to fulfill their marital responsibilities due to self-inflicted physical harm;
- assault against a wife (husband) or children, causing harm to their health;
- incurable mental illness;
- venereal diseases;
- passion for alcohol, drug use;
- stay of the husband or wife in prison;
- taking advantage of a spouse's weakness for one's own benefit;
- husband abandoning his wife and vice versa;
- a woman performs an abortion without the consent of her partner (an exception may be termination of pregnancy due to a threat to health).
Reasons why the church allows divorce
First of all, you should know that the church does not welcome divorce and tries in every possible way to prevent it. Dissolution of a marriage is considered a great sin. And first of all, this is a crime against God. The existence of the family institution is the will of God.
Dissolution of a marriage is considered a great sin
According to the laws of the Lord God, every person must find a mate. Moreover, there must be one partner in family life. With him, a person must go hand in hand with his entire life path from beginning to end, experiencing together both joyful, pleasant moments and all the hardships and adversities.
The ability to accept and understand another person as he is is work that cannot be called easy. But it is through bearing sorrows that a person is purified and achieves perfection. Family is the most convenient and natural place created by God for salvation. If a person values family, he has every chance to achieve perfection and get closer to God.
Family is the most comfortable and natural place created by God
But still, there are reasons why there is every reason to dissolve a church marriage and the church accepts them. The most important and fundamental reason for debunking a church marriage is the betrayal of one of the spouses - adultery. The Lord himself spoke about her.
But even in this situation, you need to try to show generosity and forgive. The great elders spoke about this. Moreover, based on their words, this can be done more than once. But if such a person’s actions move from an episodic plane to a constant one, then this can already be safely called fornication and such a companion should be left without a twinge of conscience.
The most important reason for debunking a church marriage is adultery
In addition to this main reason for debunking a church marriage, there are others that can also be accepted by the church.
- Alcohol abuse and drug use.
- The presence of a sexually transmitted disease, including AIDS.
- Mental illnesses.
- Conversion of one of the spouses to another faith.
- Conclusion of a new marriage.
- A crime committed that entails criminal liability.
- Causing bodily harm to one spouse by another. We are talking about beatings and, in general, any encroachment on human life and health. This also applies to children.
- Missing person (more than 5 years).
- An abortion that was performed without the consent of the husband. This fact is not taken into account if there were medical indications for this.
- If the marriage was concluded by force, without the will of one of the spouses.
- Infertility.
- Intimate relationships between relatives.
Each case is individual and the clergy will consider it in detail, taking into account all the details of the current situation. With common everyday reasons for divorce, which are accepted at the registry office, you don’t even have to try to file a petition for divorce.
Who is forbidden by the church to get married both the first and second time?
Despite the fact that remarriage, “made in heaven,” is not prohibited by the clergy, not everyone can be admitted to it.
Who will most likely be denied?
- A couple who cohabits together is, in other words, in a “civil marriage.” According to church canons, such a marriage contradicts all Christian beliefs.
- Monks, celibates, who are prohibited by their vows from marrying. Priests who have not yet been ordained can acquire a wife.
- Spouses who both or one of them have had more than three marriages. The Church still accepts 3 marriages in a person’s life. The fourth is already regarded as a sinful act.
- The cheater, through whose fault the previous marital union broke up. Christianity will deny the sacrament to persons who initiated divorce or adulterers even after going through confession.
- A spouse with mental disorders and mental disabilities is also not allowed to perform the sacrament of marriage.
- Persons under 18 years of age (the lower age limit for a wedding is the onset of civil majority, when you can register a marriage at the registry office), as well as elderly people: women over 60 and men over 70 years old.
- The bride and groom whose marriage is not approved by their parents, as well as those getting married who are married against their will. The opinion of parents is highly valued by the Christian Church. But performing the sacrament against the wishes of the spouses is also unacceptable.
- A couple with close family ties up to the third generation. Incest is a sinful act.
- A couple in which one or both spouses are unbaptized.
- If one of the spouses has not completed the divorce process with the former chosen one and is still connected by family ties at the state level.
- If those getting married have different religions. If the desire to legitimize your marriage is strong in the church, then one of the spouses of a different faith must convert to Orthodoxy. This condition is mandatory.
According to the rules of the Orthodox Church, deviation from these prohibitions is unacceptable.
Ritual of debunking
There is no ritual of debunking in the church. In practice, it looks like this: a person gets divorced, gets remarried and receives permission from the church to get married again. Only after the ritual is performed a second time is the woman/man considered debunked.
There is no ritual of debunking in the church
Moreover, you will be allowed to re-marry only if your actions did not cause the breakup of the previous family. The church's consent to perform a repeat ceremony will be guaranteed in the event of the death of one of the spouses. Therefore, we can assume that the rite of debunking in the Orthodox Church requires a specific reason, which is taken into account and accepted by the church, and your desire to perform this church rite again.
When performing the wedding ceremony a second time, the church minister performs the same actions
When performing the wedding ceremony a second time, the church minister performs the same actions. The procedure is the same and involves following the entire established procedure for performing the ritual, as the first time. The difference is that those getting married do not have crowns placed on their heads.
What to do with a wedding ring
Despite the divorce and debunking, there are several points regarding the wedding ring.
Firstly, there are many signs associated with the loss of the first wedding ring, promising negative consequences and troubles for all family relatives, even death.
Secondly, it is recommended that in any case, regardless of the presence of repeated marriages, the wedding ring should be removed and hidden at home, but not thrown away or lost.
Thirdly, if there is no remarriage or wedding, then it is allowed to wear a wedding ring. This does not promise any troubles or sins.
Is it possible to break church ties without the consent of the husband or wife?
The question of how to get married in a church after a unilateral divorce is quite common. It is possible to break the church bonds of marriage without the consent of one of the spouses for all the reasons that the church takes into account during a divorce. They were listed above.
You must provide official documents confirming your reason.
But remember, you must provide official documents that will confirm your reason for deciding to end the marriage. If this is a disease, then you must provide a medical report. In cases where a crime has been committed, the necessary court documents must be attached to the application. This also applies to the fact of a missing person.
What is needed to debunk
Although the rite of dissolution of marriage itself does not exist, there are still certain rules for dissolution in the Orthodox Church. To begin the procedure for debunking a church marriage, first of all, you need to break old family ties, be sure to formalize this, and register a new relationship.
In addition to the written appeal to the head of the diocese, which was mentioned above, in order to get dethroned in the church after a divorce in Moscow, you must provide the following documents:
- passport;
- documents confirming divorce;
- certificate of previous wedding;
- documents confirming the reason for the dissolution of the church marriage.
This package of documents and written appeal is submitted by the local superior
This package of documents and a written appeal is submitted to the diocese by the local rector, to whom you contacted with the question of how to divorce your ex-wife (husband) after a divorce. Then you just have to wait for an answer. There is no exact waiting time for a response. The terms vary: from 10 days to half a month. A positive response to a church divorce is considered permission to re-marry.
Since the church divorce procedure itself does not exist, there is no set fee for this process. The question concerns the cost of a wedding for the second time, which depends on the specific church where it takes place and the rules established there.
The union sealed by God and the Orthodox Church is considered virtually indestructible
The union sealed by God and the Orthodox Church is considered practically indestructible. And even if among the above reasons, one turns out to be yours, do not rush to make a decision. In this case, it is simply necessary to think about and listen to the Russian folk proverb “Measure a hundred times, cut once.”
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Step-by-step procedure
First, the husband and wife must divorce officially - in the registry office . And only after this can you think about how to debunk a church marriage and seek advice from the priest.
The Russian Orthodox Church has determined a step-by-step process that the couple can go through within two weeks.
Initially, you need to go exactly to the parish where the wedding sacrament was performed. It is advisable to talk with the priest who performed the ceremony. So, if the wedding took place on the territory of the Moscow region, then the debunking can only take place in Moscow. If a couple registered a church marriage in another city, where it is not possible to get to at the right time, then they are allowed to contact the nearest church parish.
The priest talks to each of the couple separately, trying to find out the main reason for the divorce and explain what the consequences will be.
After the conversation, you need to send a petition to the Governing Diocese, which should indicate the date of the wedding and the place where the sacrament was performed. It is important to describe the entire family life of the spouses so that it is clear that the reason for the divorce is not invented for any other purpose. All reasons for debunking must be confirmed with certificates and documents certified by a lawyer. The last important document will be a letter from the priest, who in it expresses his opinion and attitude towards the married couple.
The list of required documents that must be attached to the application consists of the following papers:
- divorce certificate issued by the registry office;
- a document on a new marriage (if one of the couple has already entered into one);
- document confirming the wedding;
- notarized consent of the other half to debunk;
- documents confirming the reasons for the decision to divorce.
All this is attached to the application in the form of photocopies. The originals remain with the sender.
