Don't say three times... so as not to cry later. Divorce in Islam

1. What is talaq?
2. How the Muslim religion approaches the issue of divorce
3. Divorce without reason
4. Procedure
5. Types of divorces in Islam Conditions of talaq ar-raj'i Provisions for divorce talaq ar-raj'i (with the right of return)
6. Small parting

Dissolution of marriage or divorce in Islam is called “ talaq ” (talaq) and means that the husband and wife end their family relationship, or the decision on divorce was made by the court for the reason that it is not possible to establish relations between the spouses or they have some other a problem that cannot be solved.

How the Muslim religion approaches the issue of divorce

There are only two conditions for a happy family life - respect and love, but both of these feelings must be mutual. A family in which each spouse will always defend his point of view and will not respect the opinion of the other will not be happy, and such a family will not be saved by the birth of a child. Allah Almighty created man not only with a feeling of love, but also with other strong feelings, including negative ones, such as hatred. Just one step separates love from hate - they say so for good reason. A person in family life can discover completely unexpected qualities - aggressiveness, rudeness, intolerance. All these features that human nature has, Allah Almighty knew when he assigned responsibilities to a person in matters of marriage. The precepts of Islam and Sharia in matters of divorce also take into account the characteristics that people have.

If in Catholicism divorce after marriage is impossible, then Islam does not have such a provision and does not keep together those people who are unhappy with each other, whose characters do not converge and complicate their family life, even if there is a child in this family. Divorce in Islam is a prevention of the occurrence of sinful situations and actions in people who are forced to stay together because of a child, but are forced to look outside for what they lack in family life: if people in a marriage are completely strangers to each other, completely different from each other. They look at the world differently, if they cannot get along together, then Islam frees them from the need to maintain this unnecessary marriage union.

The permissibility of divorce in Islam is a great blessing for Muslims, since it gives two people the opportunity to find a suitable match for themselves again, and gives a second chance for a happy family life. It is said by Allah Almighty: “ If spouses divorce, then Allah Almighty will provide each of them with His Mercy, for Allah is Comprehensive and Wise ” (Surah An-Nisa | Women, 130 ayah).

Divorce or talaq is permitted in Islam; the verses of the Holy Book of the Koran and hadith provide an explanation of the procedure for obtaining divorce according to Sharia. However, the permissibility of divorce does not mean that you can get a divorce simply and easily at any moment.

Muslims understand that talaq is the most extreme means to solve family problems, and the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ called talaq the most unpleasant for Allah Almighty, but this hadith is considered weak.

Conditions for divorce

So, divorce according to Islam is an acceptable step that any couple can decide to take. But in the Muslim faith there are also concepts of obligatory, desirable, undesirable and not permitted severance.

We should talk about this in more detail:

1. Desirable divorce is called sunnah. Such situations arise if, for example, a Muslim man is unable to provide for his wife in accordance with Shariah, while she demands it. It is advisable to get a divorce even if there is no mutual attraction. If a woman commits great sins (adultery or acts discrediting manhood), then, in accordance with the faith of Islam, divorce is also an acceptable measure.
2. An unauthorized divorce is called haram. As mentioned above, no one, in accordance with the faith of Islam, has the right to divorce during his wife’s menstrual cycle if the spouses were previously in an intimate relationship. Divorce is also impossible at the stage when a woman does not have a menstrual cycle, if after the previous “purification” she had sexual intercourse with her husband. If a spouse is terminally ill and knows it, he cannot divorce his wife in order to disinherit her.
3. Divorce without compelling reasons is undesirable. Such a break in the marriage bond is called “karahat”.
4. There is also the concept of mandatory divorce in Islam. In this case, a wife whose husband refuses sexual intercourse can demand a divorce.

Procedure

In order for a divorce to take place, in Islam only the words of a man are enough, so a Muslim husband must watch what he says, since words that will put an end to family life can be both direct and allegorical - words that can lead to divorce said accidentally, in anger.

A Muslim husband can divorce his wife only two times, after each time he must break off intimate relations with her, talaq given three times with a short period of time or given throughout the entire married life is final. Witnesses are not required when granting a divorce.

Each nation has its own tradition and culture, and if among Muslim peoples saying the words “I divorced you” means divorce, then among some other Muslim nations even such words as “Go wherever you want” can become a signal for the end of family life. free!” And if the married couple really had the intention to end their marital relationship, then these words will make the divorce valid. An announcement about this made by a husband to his wife by telephone or via the Internet can also become evidence of a divorce.

Iddah period

In Eastern traditions, a lot is built on the so-called “period of purification” of a woman. We are talking about menstruation. And divorce according to Muslim customs also completely depends on a given time stage. Thus, the period of iddah involves the passage of three cycles of menstruation.

However, there are some nuances here too:

1. For Muslim women who menstruate, this period is determined in accordance with the work of their body.
2. If there are no periods, then this period is three full months.
3. For pregnant women, iddah ends with childbirth.

Thus, if a man decides to give three talaqs at a time, then he is violating the period of iddah. As mentioned above, in some cases this is possible, but there are a few exceptions:

1. A husband has no right to initiate a divorce during his wife's menstruation period. Otherwise, he will commit what is forbidden, which is not welcomed by Allah. Moreover, such a divorce can be delayed until the woman’s “purification” period begins. If such actions are carried out by the spouse, the wife is able to challenge the breakup of the relationship on legal grounds.
2. If the spouses had sexual relations after menstruation, then the divorce is not recognized as valid until the fact of absence of pregnancy is established.

Types of divorces in Islam

Divorce in Islam can be of two types: talaq bain and talaq ar-raj'i , that is, talaq without the right of return and talaq with the right of return.

Talaq ar-raji or divorce with right of return is a type in which a man has the right to return his wife before the end of the period of iddah - the period that a woman waits without getting married after the end of a marriage due to divorce.

If a man divorced his wife by telling her words indicating divorce, such as “You are not my wife!”, then such a man can return his wife without waiting for the end of the iddah - in this case, a new marriage is not required according to Sharia, mahr is paid no need. In this case, the woman's wishes are not taken into account.

Such a divorce with the right to return the wife before the end of the Iddah, that is, talaq ar-raj'i, is described in verse 228 of Surah al-Baqarah: “ Divorced women must wait for three menstruation. It is not permissible for them to hide what Allah has created in their wombs if they believe in Allah and the Last Day. During this period, husbands have the right to return them if they want reconciliation. Wives have rights as well as responsibilities and should be treated kindly, but husbands are superior to them. Allah is Mighty, Wise ."

This question is also raised in a story describing a certain episode from the life of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ: the narration from Umar ibn Khattab says that the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ divorced his wife named Hafsa, but after that the angel Jibril appeared and told the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ: “ Get back your wife Hafsa, since she often fasts and performs many prayers ." And the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ after that returned his wife Hafsa.

Conditions of talaq ar-raja

To perform a divorce talaq ar-raj'i Islam requires that several conditions be met:

1. divorce must be clearly formulated by saying certain words: a man should say directly and clearly to his wife: “You are divorced”;
2. if a man uses some veiled expressions instead of clearly pronouncing about the divorce, then he should not use particles in his words that strengthen the phrases, indicating the final breakdown of the marital relationship - this is the presence of phrases such as “From now on, you are responsible for yourself !";
3. a man should not use intensifying particles and phrases in his words, as they can lead to a final and irrevocable divorce, that is, talaq bain;
4. A man should not pronounce the number “three” or “third” in his speech, as well as numbers greater than three, since a maximum of two is a divorce of talaq ar-raj'i, and everything that has a number greater than that is an irrevocable divorce.

If all these conditions are met, then the divorce will be of the type of talaq ar-raj'i, and then the man can return his wife without re-marrying and paying mahr.

Provisions for divorce talaq ar-raj'i (with right of return)

• With a divorce of talaq ar-raj'i, a man's right to divorce is reduced, since if once a man has already given his wife the first divorce, then he only has two unused rights to divorce, the third of which will be final;
• During the first divorce, a Muslim can return his wife only before the period of Iddah ends - then the marriage will not need to be entered into again, just as there will be no need to pay mahr. In this matter, the woman’s desire or reluctance to return to the family is not taken into account: a man only needs to say to his wife “I have returned you,” or have sexual intercourse with her, and after that she will again be considered his wife;
• if one of the spouses dies during the first divorce, his wife will also have the right of inheritance;
• The mahr is not returned until the end of the Iddah period.

Divorce of the talaq al-raj'i type in Islam has a special sacred meaning - spouses who first approached the idea of ​​divorce in the heat of anger or as a result of a marital mistake are given the opportunity to reconsider their view of marriage and return to each other.

Small parting

Baynuna al-sughra or minor separation is a type of divorce in which a man can get his wife back by remarrying and paying mahr. If the divorce has the form of baynun al-sughra, then the marriage is considered not to be completely dissolved, and if a man divorced his wife according to the type of divorce of talaq ar-raja once or twice, but he was unable to return his wife before Iddah, then he still has a third a chance to get your wife back by remarrying and paying mahr. In such a situation, the Muslim man has not yet exhausted his third conjugal right to divorce.

Divorce without right of return - talaq bain

This type of divorce does not give a man the right to return his wife and continue family life for these spouses. A divorced woman must marry another man and if she inadvertently divorces him, she can remarry her former husband, who will also have to pay her a marriage gift (mahr).

Big breakup

Baynuna al kubra or grand separation is a type of divorce in which the separation of the spouses is considered final and the man's marital right to a threefold divorce has been exhausted. A man gives a divorce every month after his period or gives three divorces at a time (triple talaq). After bainunat al kubra, the spouses can no longer reunite. To do this, they need to fulfill everything set for this case by Shariah, the conditions of which will be discussed below.

How to get your wife back after triple talaq (final divorce)?

In Islam, for those men who have finally divorced their wife, but still want to get her back, the conditions are quite strict, since for Islam, marriage is a sacred and serious matter, and it should be treated responsibly. For a man who loves his wife, but has allowed the marriage to end, Islam has a difficult test - to see his wife marry another man with whom she lives in a full-fledged marriage. But Allah Almighty has shown mercy to Muslims, and there is no final ban on marriage for former spouses in Islam - if they still want to reunite, they still have that chance.

Proof of this are the words of Allah Almighty in Surah Al-Baqarah verse 230, which says: “ If he divorced her for the third time, then he is not allowed to marry her until she marries someone else. And if he divorces her, then they (the former spouses) will not commit a sin if they reunite, believing that they can comply with the restrictions of Allah. These are the limits of Allah. He explains them for people who know ."

Conditions for reunification after final talaq:

• marriage with another person for a woman with the condition of a real and not fictitious marriage;
• the second marriage should not be concluded in order to then divorce the spouses, that is, it is necessary that the marital relationship be full;
• marriage with her former husband is possible provided that the woman is left alone as a result of divorce from her current husband (three months) or his death (four months and ten days);
• If a man wants to remarry his ex-wife, he must pay mahr. This example is given from the story of the life of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, who was approached by the ex-wife of Rifa'a al Qurazi, who was divorced from him by triple talaq, but then expressed a desire to return to him again. She asked the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ if this was possible, but the Prophet of the Most High replied that it was impossible until she had an intimate relationship with her current husband. This was said in order to draw the attention of Muslims who resort to fictitious marriages, which are called “tahlil”, in order to be able to marry again. Such a practice is contrary to the laws of Allah Almighty, and such attempts to circumvent the norms accepted in Islam are simply unacceptable and prohibited. Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said the following: “ Shall I tell you who is the hired goat? He is the one who makes a woman permissible through arranged marriage. Allah has cursed both the one who makes a woman lawful and the one to whom she is made lawful .” Allah Almighty curses both the man who resorts to such deception and the woman who agrees to it.

Results from small and large separations

The small (bainuna al-sugra) and the great separation (bainunat al kubra) imply certain results.

The results of baynun al-sughra or small parting:

• such a divorce can only take place once or twice, and the reunification of the spouses can only be through remarriage with the payment of mahr;
• since in case of a minor separation the marriage is not considered completely dissolved, then the man will be responsible for the woman’s financial support, and the woman can, if she wants, remain to live in her husband’s house;
• when bainun al-sugra mahr al muajjal is required to be paid immediately;
• under Baynun al-Sughra, in the event of the death of one of the spouses, the other retains the right to inheritance.

Results of bainunat al kubra or big separation:

• the spouses are finally divorced and the husband’s right to triple talaq has been exercised;
• the man and woman begin to become illicit to each other, they are prohibited from having sexual relations, and they can no longer reunite. For their reunification, it is necessary for the woman to marry another man, with whom she would live a family life in his house, divorce or become a natural widow, and then wait for Iddah;
• until the end of the Iddah, a woman has the right to have the man responsible for her material support, to remain in the man’s house until the end of the Iddah, but she must behave differently towards her husband, not as a spouse, but as a complete stranger to him a woman;
• the right of inheritance in the event of a major separation is annulled;
• The man must pay the woman the required mahr al muajjal.

Triple talaq

In Islam, there is a distinction between divorce that is in accordance with the Sunnah and one that is contrary to the Sunnah.

Talaq al-Sunni is a divorce that is performed in accordance with the Sunnah and the Holy Book of the Koran. Such a divorce occurs when a man gives a woman a single talaq after each menstrual cycle ends, but does not enter into an intimate relationship with her - that is, the triple talaq will not be used up immediately, but gradually, over three months. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ spoke about the fact that divorce must be in accordance with these rules in a narration from Mahmud ibn Labid, which tells how the Messenger of the Almighty ﷺ, having learned that a Muslim divorced his wife by saying talaq three times in a row, became angry and said: “ Is it possible to play with the Scripture of Allah while I am among you ?” (An-Nasai).

Divorce during a woman's period

There is also a hadith that reports the conversation of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ with Umar, the father of Abdullah ibn Umar. When the Prophet ﷺ learned that Abdullah ibn Umar also gave a divorce to his wife during her menstruation, he ordered his father to tell his son to return and wait until his wife’s menstruation had passed, and then waited until another menstruation had passed, and if he wished to give she will still have a divorce, then he will be able to do this, but without touching her all this time. The hadith says that during menstruation, it is wrong for a man to divorce his wife or give her three talaq at a time.

The reason why a wife should not be given a divorce during her period is explained as follows: the thought of divorce comes to the husband’s mind at a moment of anger, when he cannot reason and think soberly about what future awaits his children and his wife. When a husband, in the heat of anger, strives to give three times talaq at once, with the goal of getting a divorce as soon as possible, from that moment there will be no return.

Spouses are advised not to divorce during menstruation, this recommendation implies a desire to delay the separation of husband and wife, since there is a chance that when they both live together and the woman is in a state of purity, she will be more attractive to her husband, he may rekindle new feelings for her and return to his family. But if he gave three times talaq, he will not be able to return to his wife, even if his repentance is great. If the husband patiently gives one talaq after each monthly cycle, without touching his wife, then his intention and goal to divorce looks firm and unhurried - this means that family life has come to an end, and the husband’s decision is adamant.

Talaq al bid'i

Such a divorce contradicts all the principles contained in the Holy Book of the Quran and the Sunnah of the Prophet ﷺ. According to the Sunnah and the Quran, a divorce in which the husband spends three talaq at a time will be considered incorrect. It is also contrary to the Sunnah for divorce in which the husband decides to divorce his wife after having intimate relations during the pure period, as well as if talaq is given during the menstrual period. Most scholars believe that this is a sin, but this type of divorce is valid. As proof of this, one can cite a rivayat from Mahmud ibn Labid ﷺ, which says that one of the companions of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ performed three talaq at a time, and the Prophet ﷺ did not like it, but the Messenger of the Almighty ﷺ, according to one version, still considered it valid this scam. However, there is a group of scholars who considered such a divorce invalid among them, Sheikh-ul-Islam ibn Taymiyyah, his student ibn al-Qayim, from the modern ibn Baz, ibn Uthaymin and others.

Subsequence

According to Muslim customs, the divorce procedure must take place in accordance with certain stages.

Therefore, if a husband decides to give his wife a divorce, he will have to act as follows:

1. It is necessary to wait for the period of “purification” of the wife.
2. Next, the wife is given a divorce, after which it is forbidden to have sexual intercourse with her.
3. After the period of iddah expires, the husband grants another divorce.
4. The marriage will only be annulled if the man initiates a breakup again.
5. Even after an official separation, certain obligations may remain between spouses. For example, a husband supports his ex-wife for three months after a divorce, as mentioned above.

In connection with divorce, a woman again enters the period of iddah, during which she has no right to marry.

Divorce in the hands of the husband - why?

One of the most common questions is why the husband has the right to divorce. There are undeniable reasons for this, including the fact that a woman is more emotional by nature, and a man has a more rational and practical approach to life.

Since divorce is a very serious step, you should think about it and not act on emotions. The husband is able to approach this issue more carefully, since after the divorce a number of unpleasant issues will follow that he will be obliged to resolve: it is necessary to take care of the material support of the woman and children, payment of mahr and alimony, determination of the future fate of minor children, their upbringing and the opportunity to see by his father or mother, so the husband will take the issue of divorce seriously, and the woman can make decisions under the influence of emotions.

Wife's initiative

Since Islam presupposes strict patriarchy, only men have the right to divorce. The only opportunity for a woman to somehow influence this process is her husband’s request to terminate the relationship. If the man decides accordingly, the wife also has the right to grant a divorce, but she must do this immediately as soon as she hears the husband’s words.

Divorce in Islam is a very complex process that has remained unchanged for hundreds of years. There may be dozens of exceptions to each rule, so when terminating a relationship, it is very important to know Muslim customs. Otherwise, the annulment of the marriage may be declared invalid, and the spouses will have to go through the entire procedure again.

Divorce initiated by a woman

Islam also gives a woman the right to get a divorce, but under certain conditions. These may be the following cases:

• when the husband went missing;
• does not provide financially for his wife;
• does not fulfill his marital duties;
• after the marriage was concluded, the husband discovered some shortcomings that he kept silent about, or he hid some illnesses.

In such cases, a woman can file for divorce in court. The husband himself can give the woman the right to decide on divorce, then this will be called “tafuid”.

The husband can transfer the right to divorce to his wife either of his own free will or at the request of the wife herself. And if the husband has transferred such a right to his wife, then he will no longer be able to cancel his decision.

How does divorce work according to Muslim traditions?

There are four types of divorces in Islam:

• talaq (initiated by a man);
• khul (performed by a woman);
• mubarah (by mutual agreement);
• liana (in cases of adultery).

The last two are the easiest to implement, while the first require certain actions that some have difficulty performing.

Divorce in emergency and critical situations

The husband has the right to divorce; he can exercise this right in critical or emergency situations. These are situations such as divorce under the influence of drunk alcohol or given as a joke, in a state of illness or under the threat of injury or death.

Joked about divorce

The case when a divorce is made as a joke is severely condemned by Islam, as is any disdain for the commandments of Allah Almighty. A Muslim must be reasonable and serious in his daily life, and if the husband allows himself to make jokes regarding religious issues, then this frivolous attitude towards the commandments of Allah will be counted as disdain for Islam itself. Talaq is a religious commandment transmitted through hadiths and verses of the Koran, and if this happens, then Islam considers such a divorce valid . Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said about this: “ There are 3 things that are serious, both seriously and in jest: marriage, divorce and the return of the wife after divorce with return or talaq ar-raj'i .”

Since the practice of joking divorce is a phenomenon that took place long before modern Islam, Allah Almighty revealed a verse that says: “ Do not consider the signs of Allah as a joke ” (2:231).

Gave a divorce while intoxicated

The case when a divorce is made while drunk is also considered valid by Islam, since for a divorce the husband only needs to say one or a few words, and Allah Almighty does not relieve the drunk person of responsibility for his deeds and actions. Addressing Muslims, Allah Almighty says: “ O you who believe! Do not pray while drunk until you understand what you are saying ” (4:43). According to the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, any divorce is valid, “ except for the divorce of a minor and an insane person .”

In the case of a divorce given while intoxicated, it is important to take into account how the person entered this state: if such a state occurred as a result of consuming legal and natural products, then scientists are of the opinion that the divorce of such a person will not be considered valid. And if a person became intoxicated as a result of consuming forbidden foods, then his divorce will be considered valid. Such products include vodka, wine, beer, whiskey, hashish and other drugs.

Divorce given by force

A case where a divorce is made under threat of injury or death will be considered invalid - this is the opinion of most scholars, since the person does not want to do this, but he is forced. Proof of this situation can be considered the words of the Almighty Allah in the Holy Book of the Quran: “ The wrath of Allah will fall on those who renounced Allah, and previously believed in Him, unless he was forced to renounce, but retained a commitment to faith in his heart. Wrath will fall on the one who opened his heart to unbelief. For such there is a great punishment " (16:106). A husband who, under the threat of life or health, agreed to a divorce can return to his wife without any obstacles. Also proof of this can be the hadith of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, which says: “ Truly, Allah has removed responsibility from my ummah in case of error, forgetfulness and threat of violence .”

Divorce process among Muslims

The procedure for separation in a Muslim family is not as simple as it seems at first. Firstly, a special procedure must be followed, and secondly, after a divorce, certain obligations arise on both sides, after which the spouses are freed from family ties. Divorce is allowed on the initiative of a woman and her husband, however, depending on who the initiator is, some peculiarities arise in the procedure.

Action steps:

1. Appointment by a man and a woman of a judge whose functions include reconciliation of spouses.
2. If reconciliation fails, believers receive the right to be freed from family ties. Depending on who wants a divorce, the following types of divorce are distinguished: if the initiative comes from a man, the procedure is called “talaq”, and if from a woman – “khul”.
3. To carry out a divorce in a Muslim marriage, a man is required to pronounce talaq three times, or a written notification, however, between each of the talaqs, 3 months of “iddah” (waiting) must pass, during which the spouses should not have intimate intimacy.
4. If the initiative comes from the wife, then there must be a good reason in the form of the spouse’s guilt. The spouse can demand a divorce by appealing to the judge and proving that the man did not fulfill the duties of a spouse. If the husband does not give a divorce, in order to obtain permission to terminate the marriage, you will need to provide evidence that the husband behaved immorally and did not follow the Koran. A common reason is adultery or conversion to another faith and abandonment of Islam.

From the point of view of Muslims, divorce is the most unloved, but permitted action, and spouses must do everything to avoid separation, overcoming family difficulties together.